Bad Art I Am Compelled To Share

Wednesday, February 20, 2008


This is my picture for Illustration Friday the theme is theory. "Theory" was drawn on a piece of scrap paper with a Faber-Castle 3-H pencil and the inked in with my fine tip Gel-roller.

It has been a Hell of a week my friends. This story is going to be choppy and full of typos, because I'm tired and sick as a dog right now, but I really need to get this off my chest.

I will start by saying, It's hard to relax after your mother tells you she's been sleeping with a knife under her pillow because she's afraid your brother is going to try and kill her.


On Friday I had a big show. The show went great and I was feeling good. The next day, even with a slight hangover, I was still feeling the residual, warm-fuzziness of last nights show, then I got together with my mom.

My mom has been living in my brother's house for the last six years. She moved in a year after my brother had gone through a messy divorce. As far as I knew everything was going fine.

As soon as my mother sees me she starts bawling, then she tells me what has been going on between her and my brother since the day before the Super Bowl. (Over a month ago.)

My brother, out of the blue, comes home one day, and demanded she get out.

My mother says, "That's fine, but I need at least 30 days to find a place."

Bro's face turns red. He clenches and unclenches his fists, then screams, "You need to get out now. Everyone has someone they can go to."

More yelling ensues and brother finally storms out of the house to his girlfriends.

What makes this even scarier is the fact that my brother is a deputy sheriff and their confrontation takes place while my brother is in full uniform. That means he's carrying a gun.

Since that night every time Bro confronts Mom he is in full uniform.

Things get uglier, Mom comes home one day and all her stuff is packed up. Bro has labeled everything in the house with sticky notes. "This is mine."

Another day mom comes home and the dogs are gone. They were my brother's dogs, but my mom spent more time with them than he did and they were her companions, who she turned to when she felt lonely. When mom asks about the dogs brother says, "They don't miss you and you will never see them again."

On another day, after another argument and more fits of rage, Bro screams, "You are forbidden from speaking to The Unknown about this."

Another time, Mom sees Bro's girlfriend, who just happens to be a doctor, feeding Bro oxycodone.

More things happen, but I can't go on with this part of the story. It's making me feel nauseous.

The first I hear about any of this is last Saturday. I beg my mom to come live with us, but she tells me Bro is leaving on Monday evening for a ten day trip in Hawaii and she will be out by the time he gets back.

I sweat bullets for two days. I can't get a hold of my mom and fear the worst. I finally get a hold of her today. She's bought a house, how she can afford it I have no idea, and will be moving in a month. I convince her to spend the month before she moves with me and Gorky.

Mom will move here on next Monday.

I don't know what is up with my brother. He has never been like this. He is the responsible one in the family. Mom thinks he's bipolar.

I think it's a combination. Bipolar + addiction to pain killers + a girlfriend that seems to be fucking with his head. I don't know.

I do know that I have eight days to decide what to do about my brother. I will have to confront him at some point. He carries a gun, he makes life and death decisions at work. How can I, in good conscience, say nothing?

What if he kills someone?

I have eight days.

Sunday, February 10, 2008


This is my picture for Illustration Friday the theme is choose. "Choose" was drawn on a piece of scrap paper with a Faber-Castle 3-H pencil, inked in with my fine tip Gel-Roller and then colored in PhotoStudio.

As Stan Lee might say, "Nuff Said."

Did you ever have the urge to line the pockets of your fat cat friends? Did you ever have the urge to leave me some love?

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Percy on Drums

Stupid cat picture #375

What can I say? It makes me laugh.

Do you like stupid cat pictures? Do you want to leave me some love?

Percy's Snow Day

We had a day of snow last weekend and I snapped this picture of Percy. He really seemed to enjoy the snow. He wouldn't come in on his own, I had to go usher him in.

Anyhow, I liked the picture and thought you might too.


Do you enjoy the snow? Do you want to leave some love?

Wednesday, February 06, 2008


This is my picture for Illustration Friday the theme is blanket. "Blanket" was drawn on a piece of scratch paper with a Faber-Castle 3-H pencil, inked in with a Faber-Castle fine tip artist pen and then colored in PhotoStudio.

This illustration is called blanket because, I wish I had a blanket, to put over my head.

Last week I got a cold sore. I have been getting cold sores for as long as I can remember, but it's been over two years since my last outbreak and this one was a doosey. It looked like my lip had exploded.

Normally an outbreak isn't that big of a deal but, unfortunately, this week I had a little gig. A little gig in front of 4000 people.

When I arrived at the venue for the sound check, It looked like the stage was set far enough away from the audience that I could just hide my face behind the mic. I thought, this won't be too bad. Then they set up the cameras and the JumboTron. Ever time I spoke that night a camera was trained on my face.

So, there was my fifty foot head delivering punch-lines with a ten foot cold sore.


Someday, I will laugh about this.

Have you ever wanted to cover your face in public? Have you ever wanted to leave me some love?