Wieners and Losers

This is a picture of some wieners. It was drawn on the back of the breakdown sheet for a show I did recently. I colored it in Photoshop but didn't think it was spiffy enough so, I played with it and made this weird thing. I still don't know if I like it. Hmm...

When I was four I loved hotdogs. Hotdogs where just about my favorite food. At the beginning of a hotdog dinner I once proclaimed that I could eat a whole package of hotdogs.

My father gave me a sly look with his one good eye and said, "I will bet you a nickel you can't eat five hotdogs."

"No problem!" I boasted and then shook his hand to accept the bet.

The first two hotdogs went down easy. The third was harder but I did it. The fourth was a struggle and I felt like I would explode. The fifth sat there on the table in front of me. I was almost in tears. I was sweating and feeling nauseous but I started eating the final hotdog. Little by little I forced it down until it was gone. I felt horrible but I had won the bet. Victory! Sweet victory was mine.

My father shook his head looking stunned. He pressed a nickel into the palm of my hand saying, "I can't believe it."

Fifteen minutes later I threw up.

That night as I lay in bed crying my father came into my room and sat down next to me on the bed. He rubbed my tummy a little while saying, "There, there it's not that bad."

I settled down after a bit.

"Do you feel better now?" He asked.

"I guess so." I whispered.

"Good. Now where's the nickel I gave you. You lost the bet."

My dad was a strange guy.

Do you love wieners? Do you love me?