Bad Art I Am Compelled To Share

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Wieners and Losers

This is a picture of some wieners. It was drawn on the back of the breakdown sheet for a show I did recently. I colored it in Photoshop but didn't think it was spiffy enough so, I played with it and made this weird thing. I still don't know if I like it. Hmm...

When I was four I loved hotdogs. Hotdogs where just about my favorite food. At the beginning of a hotdog dinner I once proclaimed that I could eat a whole package of hotdogs.

My father gave me a sly look with his one good eye and said, "I will bet you a nickel you can't eat five hotdogs."

"No problem!" I boasted and then shook his hand to accept the bet.

The first two hotdogs went down easy. The third was harder but I did it. The fourth was a struggle and I felt like I would explode. The fifth sat there on the table in front of me. I was almost in tears. I was sweating and feeling nauseous but I started eating the final hotdog. Little by little I forced it down until it was gone. I felt horrible but I had won the bet. Victory! Sweet victory was mine.

My father shook his head looking stunned. He pressed a nickel into the palm of my hand saying, "I can't believe it."

Fifteen minutes later I threw up.

That night as I lay in bed crying my father came into my room and sat down next to me on the bed. He rubbed my tummy a little while saying, "There, there it's not that bad."

I settled down after a bit.

"Do you feel better now?" He asked.

"I guess so." I whispered.

"Good. Now where's the nickel I gave you. You lost the bet."

My dad was a strange guy.

Do you love wieners? Do you love me?

25 Comments:

  • I prefer pizza as my choice of artery choking comfort food ;)

    By Blogger marina, at 03:53  

  • Not bad reminds me alittle to much of Warhol tho... i dont really like his style but i like the complexity of the your designs

    By Blogger Gonowurforgiven, at 07:04  

  • Good drawing! Good story!
    Dad's are like that.
    Later

    By Blogger scarecrow, at 07:08  

  • LOL!!!! I cant stop laughing!!! everyone at the office is staring at me!! great...now everybody KNOWS I'm weird! hahaha XD....anyway....a story similar to that happened to me with bananas...now i hate them! eeewww... I will not answer the wiener question...too personal...XD

    I do love you though!
    Love

    By Blogger (¯'·._.·[ (DÅNÏˣϯ|¯Ä) ]·._.·´¯), at 07:33  

  • I love your stories and art. I can't believe dear old dad took the nickle back...that would have made me cry. ;)

    I used to love hot dogs too. I think most children do.

    In Philadelphia they sell whats called hot dog pretzels...a hotdog wrapped inside a pretzel with cheese...so delicious!! My nieces and nephews love them.
    love


    http://jokestomakeyoulaugh.blogspot.com/

    By Blogger D. Maria, at 07:44  

  • I love weiners. I like them with chili, onions, and lotsa cheese.

    Not a good date food. Sends mixed messages. The man gets all excited watching the woman devour a weiner, but then when he closes in for a kiss....well, she has to exhale, sometime.

    By Blogger Catnapping, at 08:20  

  • great story! I love weiners too! I don't care if they are bad for me. My father was weird too. He taught me to love chicken hearts at the age of four.

    By Blogger Jaimie, at 13:02  

  • Neat hotdogs, although I think hotdog #1 may have been sitting around too long, mold might be it's best friend at this point, I wish your dad hadn't taken the nickle back, dads are inscrutible sometimes.

    By Blogger HARDWAX, at 15:48  

  • I like your weiners even tho I hate the word "weiner" - but I'm weird about words. It reminds me of Warhol too and I like Warhol.
    love

    By Blogger TravelingMermaid, at 15:53  

  • I prefer tofu pups... but whatever floats your boat, mine doesn't float though... to many stones... I will just pretend they are tofu pups... that way i can love them.

    By Blogger RedT0pMedusa, at 19:45  

  • I love me my knackwurst. Love.

    By Anonymous Detlef, at 02:09  

  • just wanted to post a link to my own bad art http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamie_george

    hope you enjoy.

    By Anonymous Jamie George, at 03:02  

  • Strange fathers produce strange children and strange people are lovable, for sure. :)

    By Anonymous elsa, at 05:13  

  • cute! wieners and lsoers. i like this one! why don't you draw a comic strip?

    By Anonymous blah, at 05:36  

  • I feel bad for you. My father make me eat dog some times. But I never eat five dog! You brave man. But I think the top left dog is a little mouldy perhaps this why you feel bad stomach?

    Nice drawing your feet and your crazy dogs.

    By Blogger pablo, at 12:46  

  • Oh sweet. Now draw corndogs.

    By Blogger Asian Lep, at 18:35  

  • marina: French fries for me. I like tofu pups too now. :-)
    love

    gonowurforgiven: "complexity of the your designs" Umm... Are we reading the same blog?
    ;-) Thanks.
    love

    scarecrow: Thanks.
    love

    daniela: Ha ha. Thanks Love. :-)
    love

    d. maria: Ha, Thanks Love. Wait, what? How do you wrap a hotdog inside a pretzel?!
    love

    catnapping: Wiener lover. Ha. (blush)
    love

    jaimie: Chicken Hearts! Ewwww...
    love

    hardwax: You think #1 looks fuzzy? I think it looks like it blew into a million little pieces. :-)
    love

    travelingmermaid: Weird. I have a few friends with words they don't like. I know a guy who can't stand the words moist ointment. So of course we say it all the time.
    love

    redt0pmedusa: It is a story of the past. I too now enjoy only tofu pups. As you know. :-)
    love

    detlef: With the saurkraut? I like that stuff too every once and a while.
    love

    jamie george: Thanks. I did enjoy it. Since you seem to being doing pretty well producing "bad art" and you took the time to post a comment I will take that as a sign of hope! But, I'm an optimist. :-)
    love

    elsa: Ha. Thanks. :-)
    love

    blah: Thanks. I did draw a comic strip. It's hidden in the archives somewhere.
    love

    pablo: You are a funny little man Pablo. :-)
    love

    asian lep: Thanks. I drew corn-nuts once. It's in the archives. Bwhahahaha.
    love

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 01:03  

  • Hey my comment got lost so thats some love that has floated off into blogger!

    Love

    By Blogger Caroline, at 13:07  

  • caroline: It's that damn comment eating monster.
    love

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 16:59  

  • URK, Weiners> Hmm, I could say > . . hmmm

    I like the ARTWORK! ANd I love that BUSH-monster!

    By Blogger Mary Stebbins Taitt, at 17:11  

  • taittems: Thanks Love. :-)
    love

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 21:15  

  • You poor little boy...
    Your father was really a strange guy...
    No comments...

    love
    love
    love

    By Blogger Clo, at 20:07  

  • clo: :-)
    love

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 15:39  

  • Have you ever tried to best your own record? For a small kid that's pretty good, whether or not you threw up!! I'd give you a whole dollar for that one.

    Robert once ate 6 hotdogs, buns and all, on a camping trip a few years ago. He had 3 beers and a half a packet of marshmallows, too. he's only 5'4" and 135lbs, so I don't know where it all went. I was impressed!

    By Blogger Chandira, at 16:32  

  • chandira: I once ate six smartdogs in one sitting. I'm not proud of it though. :-) Blah.
    love

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 11:43  

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