Bad Art I Am Compelled To Share

Friday, August 11, 2006


Because I’ve been a drama geek for most of my life, for me, “The Play’s the thing,” just like Willie said. It all started while I was in high school when I finally got the courage to audition for “West Side Story”. As fate would have it I was cast as a Shark named Indio. The Sharks were the Puerto Rican gang, which is kind of funny because I have blond hair and blue eyes. I only had two lines, but appeared in the show a lot because of all the songs, fight scenes and dance numbers.

The biggest dance number in the show takes place when the Jets and the Sharks show up at the high school for the sock-hop and try to out dance the other gang. In our production the scene turned into a giant synchronized dance number with all the actors freezing in place at the end with outstretched arms and legs facing the audience, then Tony and Maria had a duet while the rest of us remained frozen in the background.

One night, just before the big dance number, the crotch in my pants ripped. In a panic I asked the stage manager what I should do. She quickly grabbed a safety pin and pinned the hole in my pants together. I ran on stage and did our dance. Everything went fine until the end. Just as I froze, the safety pin went “POINK”, became unfastened and stabbed me right in the nut sac.

Not wanting to ruin the show, I stood there frozen, sweating bullets, quietly whining, with a pin stabbing my balls, as Tony and Maria sang their song. Luckily the duet was only a few minutes long and I was able to limp off stage afterwards. Before limping off stage I must have looked a little bit like this.
To this day I’m still proud of myself for just standing there taking the pain and not ruining the play. I mean it turned out better than the production of “Jesus Christ Superstar” I saw, where near the end of the show while Jesus is on the cross, one guy playing a Roman soldier got a little over zealous when poking Jesus with the spear. He actually gave a puncture wound to the actor on the cross who cried out, “Jesus Christ! I’ve been stabbed!” then he jumped off the cross and ran off stage ending the show.

Hmm… I guess I was tougher than Jesus. Heh, heh.

Anyhow, this is my picture for Illustration Friday; the theme is play. “Play” was drawn on a scrap of multi-purpose copy paper with my Gel-Roller, then colored in Photoshop.

Have you ever been stabbed in the nut sac? Do you want to leave me some love?


  • such a drama! sending much love!

    By Blogger Queen Tut, at 17:36  

  • Man I would've thought a skewered nut sac would be excuriating, then I forgot your sac carries coconuts ;).

    By Anonymous Detlef, at 17:52  

  • west side story hm ??? not romeu and ju ju ... what is her name ???
    ohhh you made me laugh again ....
    and loud ;-)))))
    nite, red eyes !!!
    sending love
    from me

    By Blogger luisa brehm, at 18:32  

  • Poor Unknown!...sending much LOVE!!

    By Blogger Janet, at 18:49  

  • This is too funny....the show must go on.

    By Blogger Gemma, at 19:05  

  • hahahaaa! I can't stop laughing, sorry, I need to come later a leave a proper comment, right now I need to go and laugh some more... much love.

    By Blogger Rosa Murillo, at 21:09  

  • As always your posts are so funny, they are so fun to read.

    By Blogger JO, at 23:13  

  • *laugh* Indeed. LOVE!

    By Blogger Whimspiration, at 23:23  

  • so much for a safe pin lol

    By Blogger michael dailey, at 06:01  

  • OUCH! I cant even begin to imagine the pain!

    By Blogger marina, at 07:31  

    Poor you.
    Poor Jesus,too. What a concept!

    By Blogger Liz Jones, at 08:33  

  • LOL!!! The show must go on! LOL!!!


    By Blogger Joy Eliz, at 11:55  

  • OUCH! I feel your pain, even though I don't have nut sacs ;)

    By Blogger Gabrielle, at 12:37  

  • Oh God, that's funny. Pun intended. Sorry about your nut sacs. HOpe they recover. Giving you some love.

    By Blogger RonniHall, at 16:58  

  • off the stage in pain.
    "Tougher than Jesus"'s like "tougher than nails" but from the pointy end of the same story.

    By Blogger Brian the Mennonite, at 20:12  

  • OW! I think all of us guys can sympathize. The closest I've come to that is slipping off my bike seat onto the bar. OW!


    By Blogger IdiotHead, at 20:30  

  • oooh the show must go ON! what a brave soul. and OUCH. i think that must have been brutal.

    By Blogger susan, at 05:59  

  • OH!! (giggling)(giggling), there I think Im fine now. (giggling), well now lets see, no I have never been stabbed in the nut sac(don't have them) but I was stung in the boob by a bee.

    This is the most hilarious one yet! Glad your over the pain from the pin, hope it didn't do lasting harm.

    Thanks for a wonderful story.

    By Blogger Babe in the Woods, at 07:48  

  • Oh UN! We rolled and rolled with laughter over your painful story! I am without nut sac but the hubby said Thankfully he has been spared that ordeal! He was however impressed with your being such a trooper and he teaches a course about the entertainment biz @ Loyola Marymount and he says the first Law is The show must go on! The second Law is Get the Dough! but that is for another day Love, LOve Us!!!

    By Blogger ValGalArt, at 09:51  

  • Wow! Of all places for a pin to be, eh? Glad to hear you saved the play and did not endure too much damage. Love

    By Blogger Holly, at 10:47  

  • I guess in your case,instead of "break a leg" it was "poke a nut"....

    By Blogger TravelingMermaid, at 11:35  

  • Nut Sac! What is that? Some kind of indian tribe. BWAHahahahaha!
    Good one!


    By Blogger scarecrow, at 11:38  

  • Yea I have. When I had a vascectomy many years ago in the fine city of Portland, Oregon. The stabbing part wasn't so bad--it's when the "doctor/butcher" started yanking around on the insides that I felt like a horse had kicked me in the groin. No amount of sedatives could have helped! So yes, I feel your pain! Great story!

    By Blogger Robert McLaughlin, at 11:41  

  • I've been a bit awol as far as illustrations lately, but always find the time to check out your weekly story. Always brings a chuckle, smmile, laugh.

    At leat the nut sac pining didnt come at the scene where you had to be a Jet, snap your fingers and play the song 'gotta be cool..." the snapping might have been disrupted by the constant pricking of the saftey pin....'ahh Tony have no idea what it feels like you big wuss...all you had to do is take bullet for your love, Maria...while i got crucified in my marble bag!!!!"

    By Blogger mikepflaumart, at 20:43  

  • have such a flair with the stories! And what a trouper you are! I am sure that experience has toughened you up for any other below the belt assaults - literal and figurative - you might have had to endure over the years. I have nothing but love and admiration for your strength of character, your sense of humor, and your fabulous visual interpretations. Love.

    By Blogger carla, at 03:49  

  • I too was in a high school play, but without the torture by safety pin. Great story! Love your blog.

    By Blogger Bill, at 11:35  

  • Hi my dear Unk! It's been a while!
    And you made me LOL again! Thank you!

    ...if I ever been stabbed in the nut sac? Of cours not! My nut sacs are fine... but my english is not getting better I think.... :O)


    By Blogger Clo, at 17:51  

  • Whew!...took awhile to stop laughing at your story. No, never stabbed in the nut sac. However, in sixth grade I hit the tetherball and it hit one boy in his nut sac and he dropped to the ground like a hundred pound sack of nuts, does that count? Like the anguish caught on your face. love

    By Blogger cocos, at 23:13  

  • Ouch! LOL!!!

    By Blogger constance, at 08:55  

  • OW. OW!!!!

    Just ow.

    By Blogger The Dark Lord Omz, at 09:47  

  • Jesus would be proud.
    And so would his mother.

    By Blogger baggelboy, at 13:52  

  • jajajajajajajaj well I dont have one so ive never been stabbed there LOL

    but i do have lots of love for you and your courage (not so much for your nut sack...LOL)

    love! dani

    By Blogger (¯'·._.·[ (DÅNÏˣϯ|¯Ä) ]·._.·´¯), at 15:07  

  • Holy nut sac Batman!

    By Blogger AndyDoodler, at 17:24  

  • and all i can add to the theater story is knocking over a 16 foot air duct that was leaning against the wall backstage… it did add a bit of thunder to the applause… and the play went on…

    oh and in "dial m for murder" i got stabbed to death with a spoon…

    i don't know if i could stand for the pierced sack…

    well done and much love…

    By Blogger Michael O'Connell, at 18:52  

  • DUDE! That's gotta hurt! Funny take on the topic!

    By Blogger Ellen, at 07:13  

  • You are a strong fella...very strong! Great story!

    By Blogger creative kismet, at 21:06  

  • OMG...that's too funny...not you getting pricked in the sac of course...but the story in general...I'm suprised you're still acting after such a traumatic for you :) Lee

    By Blogger Lee, at 05:56  

  • Ohh that was tooo funny....

    By Blogger Shroom-Monkey, at 06:07  

  • wow! you are a mcahine!

    By Blogger Andrea, at 17:41  

  • queen tut: :-)

    detlef: How did you know I had such big cajonies? :-)

    luisa brehm: Well, same story different setting.
    Thanks Love. :-)

    janet: Thanks. :-)

    gemme: Amen! :-)

    rosa murillo: Aww... that's the nicest thing you could have said to me. :-)

    jo: :-)

    whimspiration: Thanks. :-)

    michael dailey: Ha! Thanks.

    marina: No kids eh? :-)

    liz jones: :-)

    joy eliz: Thanks.

    gabrielle: Ha! Thanks.

    ronnihall: Ha! Nice one.
    They did and I think everything is OK.
    Thanks. :-)

    brian the mennonite: Heh, heh. :-)

    idiothead: OUCH! Yeah, I've done that one too. :-p

    susan: It hurt for sure.
    When I got off stage I told the stage manager I needed a sewing kit. She wanted to just put the saftey pin back in. (The pants, not my nut sac.) I gave her a glare that melted her face and she found a sewing kit. Sheesh, and they wonder why actors are divas. :-)

    babe in the woods: Ouch!
    Thanks Love. :-)

    valgalart: Thanks.
    OH NO! I forgot the check.
    He got the rules right. :-)

    holly: Thanks.
    Well, I don't know if I saved the play. Even the best high school theater is pretty bad. :-p

    travelingmermaid: Ha! LOL! I'm so gonna start saying that.
    Thanks. :-)

    scarecrow: Yes. From the gonad tribe I believe.
    BWhahahahahahahahaha... heh, heh. :-)

    robert mclaughlin: OK. You win. That sounds worse. In fact I'm cringing right now.

    mikepflaumart: Aww... (blush) Thanks.
    I did sing with a falseto voice the rest of the night. :-)

    carla: (blush) Thanks.
    Now I always wear a cod piece on stage. :-)

    bill: Ha! Isn't high school torture enough? :-)

    clo: Hello Love! We've missed you here.
    Your english seems better than mine. :-)

    cocos: Ha! Thanks.
    Hmm... I guess that counts if you felt bad. :-)

    constance: Hee hee. :-) Thanks.

    the dark lord omz: :-)

    baggelboy: HA! Funny. :-)

    daniela: LOL! Oh... that killed me. Funny shit. :-)

    andydoodler: :-)

    michael o'connell: Sheesh! At least it didn't hit anyone.
    Wha...?? Did someone lose a prop?
    It's all in the training. :-p

    ellen: It did.
    Thanks. :-)

    creative kismet: Thanks.
    Or I'm very, very stupid. :-)

    lee: Thanks. :-)
    I kept acting because I figured it could never get worse than that. :-)

    shroom-monkey: Thanks. :-)

    andrea: No! I'm an android. :-p

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 22:22  

  • No. I have never ever been stabbed in the nutsack. Ever.

    You lead a dangerous life. Have you considered monkhood?

    love love love

    By Blogger Catnapping, at 11:59  

  • catnapping: Hmm... I just don't look that hot in a robe. :-p

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 13:41  

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