Bad Art I Am Compelled To Share

Friday, June 23, 2006


This is my picture for Illustration Friday the theme is rain. “Rain” was drawn with my gel-roller on the back of a flyer for a radio show I did recently, then colored in Photoshop.

This is Ed. He was my stepfather for about fifteen years. On Ed's first date with my mother he wanted to look cool. Fearing his bald spot would turn my mother off, Ed bought some spray on hair.

I don’t know if anyone remembers spray on hair, but it was a big thing back when I was a kid. Basically, it’s a can of spray paint the color of your hair that you put on your bald spot. It always seemed to work great on the TV info-mercials. Of course on TV no one ever got rained on.

So, as Ed was walking my mother through the rain to our door at the end of their date his spray on hair started to wash off. I remember peeking through the curtains out onto the front porch, hoping to get my first look at the guy my mom went out with. What I saw was this angry looking man with black streaks running down his face and my mother laughing hysterically. Sure Ed kind of made an ass of himself, but it must have worked because they ended up getting married.

Personally I don’t get the whole; I don’t want to let anyone know I’m bald mentality. Hair plugs look stupid, the only good toupee I’ve ever seen was on Ted Danson and I know someone that had hair growing off of their nose because the Rogaine they were using had dripped. If I ever go bald I’m gonna own that baldness and let everyone see my beautifully shaped head.

Have you ever covered a bald spot? How about covering me with some love?


  • Rogain made someones hair grow on their nose?


    Can you make some bad art of THAT?

    By Blogger Jamie, at 00:20  

  • You are sych a riot! This is just great-guys can be so weird about their hair!


    By Blogger Teri C, at 04:34  

  • Hair has not been my strong suite. Flaiming red and then it thined to nearly nothing. What was left turned white. No toupee for me. What you se is what you get. I remember seeing Don Rickels doing the hair spray commerical, his head shiny black.BWAHahahahahahaha!!! and John Wayne with a hair piece. What a piece of work. Listen here pilgrim dont be makin fun of my bald head. BWAHahahahaha!!!


    By Blogger scarecrow, at 04:51  

  • I wish my legs and arm pits would go bald!! bwahahahaha! (ewwwe!)


    By Blogger Joy Eliz, at 05:58  

  • Spray on hair...that's so silly! I should remember that since I'm certainly old enough to remember most of those nutty things. It's too bad someone can't invent little seeds you can sprinkle on your bald spot and then have them grow like a chia pet. Anyway, your story and drawing are very amusing...your mother must have found Ed's interest in looking good for her very endearing:> My guy has a bald spot on the top, and I love to kiss him there because I feel like it goes right to his head:> I wouldn't want him to cover it, because I think he's perfect just the way he is. And since I'm feeling the love so much right now...I'll send some to!

    By Blogger carla, at 06:28  

  • Ted Danson wears a toupee? I had no idea. I work with a couple of men who wear toupees and I so desperately want to see what the look like without them. I'm sure it would be a tremendous improvement. Good for you for owning your potiential future baldness!!

    By Anonymous bozena, at 06:33  

  • What a hysterical situation! Great illo and description of this very funny first meeting!
    I agree that there is nothing wrong with baldness but there is with lame attempts to cover it up! Spray on hair! It is just glorified spray paint!
    Be bald and own it as you say!
    Bald can be very sexy!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 09:01  

  • I love this piece! The story with it is hilarious!

    By Blogger claudine hellmuth, at 09:13  

  • Great image, great story, and yes I remember that stuff--I think it was like Xmas tree flocking spray only black. Hilarious!

    By Blogger Jana Bouc, at 12:06  

  • Holy s---pray on hair! Another classic story- and illo! Hahaha- you gotta be makin' this stuff up...

    By Blogger AndyDoodler, at 12:20  

  • jamie; It's true.
    Hmm... maybe.

    teri c: Thanks.
    Well, my stepdad wasn't exactly a great guy. The last time I saw him he was chasing me down the street with a pick-axe. That's another story though.

    scarecrow: My dad's hair and beard went white early. I was hoping my would too, but my beard grows in really red with a couple of gray patches.
    I wouldn't mind toupees so much if people wore them more like a hat. Sometimes on sometimes off. :-)

    joy eliz: Ha! Or you could move to Europe. :-p

    carla: Aww... sweet. Thanks. :-p

    bozena: Thanks. I sometimes work with this guy who has a toupee that isn't fooling anyone and it drives me nuts because no one will talk about it. Sometimes he'll even come around and say, "Hey look, I got a haircut."
    I just want to scream out, "NO! YOU JUST GOT A NEW WIG!"

    catraven: Yeah! Hell yeah! :-p

    claudine hellmuth: Thanks. :-)

    jana bouc: Ha! :-)

    andydoodler: Thanks and nope. :-p

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 17:17  

  • I remember that stuff. I would have paid to see that spray on hair dripping.

    Very funny. Love.

    By Blogger Lou, at 21:07  

  • lou: Pretty gross. :-)

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 00:32  

  • great story and drawing. god did people really use that spray on hair? I had no idea.

    By Blogger Jaimie, at 05:42  

  • jaimie: Thanks.
    Yeah, and they still do. Pretty silly huh. :-)

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 07:55  

  • I love, love, loved those great info-mercials with the spray on hair. I got some when I was a kid and sprayed my arms and legs -hoping to play freak show and charge admission- world's harryiest kid. It didn't work, I just looked brown- more like a giant turd. All the kids made fun of me.....

    By Blogger Shroom-Monkey, at 09:36  

  • shroom-monkey: Ha! Funny.
    I would have paid admission to see the terd-child. :-)

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 18:27  

  • Ah yes, I know baldness, AND I know Portland. I never tried any of that spray on stuff. I just felt the cool splash of water on my bald head.

    Your stories are pretty funny. Keep writing, and look for an agent while you're at it.

    You could be the next Dave Berry.

    By Blogger Robert McLaughlin, at 21:00  

  • worst coverup? the horrible comb over...or the combover that is sooo long it can be combed over and wrapped around....leaving the wearer afraid to go outside on a windy day!LOVE

    By Blogger Janet, at 08:18  

  • robert mclaughlin: Ha!
    Thanks. Hey, doesn't Dave Barry have some serious helmet hair? :-p

    janet: Heh, heh... yeah, those are pretty bad too. :-)

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 11:01  

  • Hilarious love! Seems as though people are more into bald now than then, now people just shave their heads! Love this!

    By Blogger ValGalArt, at 11:13  

  • valgalart: Thanks.
    Yeah, look at Howie Mandel. :-)

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 11:31  

  • Great illo!

    By Blogger tararossstudios, at 09:10  

  • I didn't know people really used that stuff. It's not still on the market is it? Very funny story. That's how you know you really love someone- their hair drips and you don't even care!


    By Blogger creative kismet, at 13:43  

  • bald is beautiful...shine on I potty mouth too :) XXXOOO Lee

    By Blogger Lee, at 19:23  

  • ha ha good one!

    By Blogger arvindh, at 12:16  

  • oh, ed ... silly ed!

    By Blogger Andrea, at 17:31  

  • tararossstudios: Thanks. :-)

    creative kismet: Yes and yes. Ironically, Ed was kind of a drip.
    Thanks. :-)

    lee: Aww... To be bald with a filthy mouth. Is it only a dream? :-)

    arvindh: Thanks. :-)

    big a; He's a silly man.

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 16:58  

  • The rain in Spain falls mainly on the brain!

    By Anonymous Detlef, at 03:15  

  • I remember those spray-on hair commercials, but never knew anyone who tried it. Your story was great! Keep it up.

    By Blogger mbc, at 13:59  

  • detlef: With Ed that is one small target.

    mbc: Thanks. :-)

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 15:41  

  • Comb-overs are worse than toupes. Good for you, if you ever do go bald, which I hope you don't. Bald guys should wear the shaved head/goatee thing, I like that look. Dark sunglasses a must, of course, and a black shirt, and big tattoos. ;-)

    By Blogger Chandira, at 13:47  

  • chandira: heh, heh... yeah.
    Hmm... are you in a biker gang?? :-)

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 19:11  

  • hysterical - own that baldness - still laughing!

    By Blogger Shane, at 20:40  

  • shane: Easy for me to say with my full head of hair. :-)

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 21:13  

  • nice bad art

    By Anonymous Platinum, at 23:08  

  • great work friend

    By Anonymous Rajguru, at 21:30  

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