Bad Art I Am Compelled To Share

Friday, May 19, 2006

Sorry

This my picture for Illustration Friday the theme is sorry. "Sorry" was drawn with a Faber-Castle 3-H pencil then inked over with my Gel Roller on a piece of multi-purpose copy paper, then cleaned up and colored in Photoshop. I struggled with this theme. At first I was just going to post a silly picture of a guy getting whacked with a bowling ball, but I decided to dig a little deeper.

On may 23, 1999 I married a woman I had been living with for six years. I was very much in love. Six weeks later, I came home and my wife said to me, "I made a mistake. I'm leaving." Then she was gone.

I was completely blindsided and went a little crazy. While under the spell of my craziness, I decided to get rid of everything and go driving around the country. One of the things I got rid of was my cat Zelda. I ended up giving her to the woman who had briefly been my mother-in-law.

Zelda was the first pet that was ever all mine. I was there when she was born and we were together for over ten years. She was the runt of the litter, with long hair, no tail and Siamese markings. Zelda was a bit of a scaredy cat, but she was also the most loving animal I'd ever been around. She had a penchant for sleeping under the covers on top of your belly and lying in the sun on her back. I miss her terribly.

God/dess knows I'm no saint. I've done a lot of stupid things and I'm sure I've hurt a lot of people, but the only thing I really feel sorry about is giving up my cat while in a delusional stupor. Thinking about it still makes me cry. In fact, I'm crying right now.

Anyhow, that's why this is my picture for Illustration Friday's sorry theme. Now, if you'll pardon me I'm going to go have a good cry. I'll try to catch up on comments later tonight.

Here's the only picture I have left of Zelda.

Do you ever have a good cry? Do you want to leave some love?

40 Comments:

  • What a lovely, lovable kitty and touching story!

    By Blogger scribblesk, at 16:53  

  • What a sad story. Sending you some love:)

    By Blogger Sweet Pea, at 16:59  

  • wow, that almost made me cry...completely understand your loss...much love and kleenex XXXOOO

    By Blogger Lee, at 17:09  

  • Well, I'm crying now....Love

    By Blogger Janet, at 17:26  

  • *hugsss you*

    By Blogger marina, at 18:21  

  • love cures all… i'm sure Zelda misses you too… I had a good cry with this week's topic as well… where's all the love?

    By Blogger Michael O'Connell, at 18:25  

  • Thanks for sharing.....makes me love ya more.

    By Blogger TravelingMermaid, at 18:47  

  • My God man, how can I not leave a little love after that heart-wrenching story?
    love
    love
    love
    love
    love
    love
    love
    love
    love
    love

    By Blogger andrea, at 19:01  

  • What a tender-hearted fellow you are! Your story brought a tear to my eye. Sometimes we make decisions in haste that we regret later. I've done it a time or two myself.

    I like the kindly expression on Zelda's face.
    love

    By Blogger Cindy, at 20:11  

  • Your story touched me deeply. I have been in somewhat a similar situation as you, however, on the other side. I had shared custody of my dog after a failed three year relationship for a couple months after the math, so to say.

    I hope that you find/found consolation in the fact that animals (particularly cats) are highly adaptable animals and I'm sure that Zelda adapted to her new family quite well and loved them very much. It's us that always remember.

    Thanks for sharing your story. Both pictures of her are beautiful. Not tail? Wow. That's special.

    Love times a million, my friend.

    By Anonymous bozena, at 20:48  

  • Ho,yes! I cried much of the loves lost.
    But I love the life,I love the cat and I love you.
    Great illo and beautiful cat!
    Have a good weekend.

    By Anonymous marc, at 22:53  

  • At least we're not all crying alone. I'm glad you posted something like this. I always enjoy reading your stories and everything which gives your illos a depth that I crave in art.

    big fat squishy love

    By Blogger V.K., at 23:16  

  • I want to leave love for you after reading your sad story.Gosh, sometimes you realy wonder where all the love is,

    By Anonymous Paula, at 23:38  

  • Oh that is truly heart breaking! Lots of lots of love to you!

    By Anonymous carra, at 01:15  

  • I wish I had the right words to make you feel better...
    Love, Love, Love!!!

    By Blogger Joy Eliz, at 04:07  

  • I love bright colours. Silly thing to say...but it reminds me of the excitement I felt during Saturday morning cartoons as a kid.

    By Anonymous Buffy, at 04:53  

  • Very poignant and touching. Love.

    By Anonymous Detlef, at 06:57  

  • this is so sad, i lost a cat too, my beloved Siamese girl died a year ago and even though we have a another girl now i still miss her terribly
    much love

    By Blogger Fossfor, at 12:05  

  • My first cat was a Siamese - they have a way of really bonding...

    sorry to hear you not only lost the woman you loved but the cat too.

    And I'd guess that six is your unlucky number...

    Love

    By Blogger Caroline, at 14:16  

  • Wow, she's beautiful. I once gave a dog I had to some Jehovas that knocked on my door.

    But I wasn't sorry.

    I am sorry your so sad...

    By Blogger Jamie, at 14:16  

  • scribblesk: Thanks. :-)
    love

    sweet pea: Thanks. :-)
    love

    lee: Heh, heh. :-) Thanks.
    love

    janet: I hope it was a good cry.
    love

    marina: :-)
    love

    michael o'connell: A blessing and a curse. :-)
    love

    travelingmermaid: :-)
    love

    andrea: Thanks.
    I wasn't really trying to be heart-wrenching. Just chasing some personl demons. :-)
    love

    cindy: Thanks.
    I can't help but wonder if it's a failing in me. I miss my cat more than the people I've lost.
    Maybe it's just the emotional ties to the whole situation that intensify the feelings.
    Anyhow, thanks for leaving a comment.
    love

    bozena: I think love and loss is something we all relate to.
    I did run into Zelda's new owner a few years after the incident and she told me Zelda was happy and surrounded by love.
    Wow, writing this is getting me misty eyed. :-)
    love

    marc: :-) Thanks.
    love

    aimhleas: Wow. Thanks. :-)
    love

    paula: Thanks.
    Hopefully not too often.
    love

    carra: A little, but it also forced me to grow in ways I didn't think possible.
    I would like to believe it all happened for a reason, but sometimes I can't help but wonder if that's just one of the things we tell ourselves to keep from going bonkers.
    love

    joy eliz: Thanks. :-)
    love

    buffy: Thanks.
    Not silly at all. I think it looks a lot like a Saturday morning carton character too. :-)
    love

    detlef: Thanks.
    love

    fossfor: :-)
    love

    caroline: Thanks. Hmm... Could be.
    love

    jamie: Hey, is that how you get those people to go away?
    Thanks. :-)
    love

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 14:49  

  • Thanks everyone for the wonderful comments.

    Please don't feel sad for me though.

    Crying is very cleansing and how could we enjoy life without the ups and downs.
    :-)
    LOVE

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 14:52  

  • HONEY!!!!! I know.... But its so great you were able to share this story... believe me I've been through my share of obstacles in life.... but with no sour, there's no sweet!

    And what doesnt kill you makes you stronger... I'm sure you learned a lot from that experience....

    Lots of love, a tight hug, and a tiny tear on my eye...* sniff *

    Love- Danicalifornia

    By Blogger (¯'·._.·[ (DÅNÏˣϯ|¯Ä) ]·._.·´¯), at 17:38  

  • AWWWWWWWWWW
    *sniffle*

    lotsa love to you AND your kitty. Ever think of reclaiming her?

    By Blogger Liz Jones, at 19:17  

  • ...and I feel sorry for you...

    By Anonymous aynaku, at 06:16  

  • this was a truly heartfelt post! This broke my heart and I could see why you still feel sad and sorry about Zelda! Love makes us do crazy things! Even lose our minds. I'm so sorry love! Love

    By Blogger ValGalArt, at 09:59  

  • Whoa. Love and peace to you, Unknown.

    By Blogger Twisselman, at 11:47  

  • *snif*
    Love from me and Merlin and Princesse the Siamese Pest! :)

    By Blogger merlinprincesse, at 12:24  

  • **sends you the love of me and both my girl kitties!**

    What a sad moving story

    By Blogger RheLynn, at 18:19  

  • I'm so sorry about you and Zelda. *hugs*

    By Anonymous Sea Angel, at 01:25  

  • Sorry to hear about your cat. Love to you and your precious memories of Zelda.

    By Blogger Lou, at 06:05  

  • sniff, sniff...you've brought tears to my eyes. I'm terribly sorry about your cat. A very very beautiful tribute to her!

    love

    By Blogger creative kismet, at 06:57  

  • Oh...this made me feel tearful on all levels...sorry that your heart was broken and sorry that you gave Zelda away. She looks like such a pretty kitty, too...it's good that she's in a happy home. I'll add my hugs and love as well:>

    By Blogger carla, at 11:37  

  • Oh dear. I feel a tear coming on-sniff! This is so sad. Hugs, and love!

    By Blogger Holly, at 09:21  

  • you almost made me cry at work! can't you still visit her? is she too far away? oh boo hoo. I had a siamese for 18 years and cried for a week when she died.
    waaaa! adorable drawing btw.

    By Blogger Jaimie, at 11:22  

  • This is the sadest story I ever heard from you! Don't really know what to say. :O(
    I'll read the comments..

    Well, I feel better knowing that Zelda found a nice new home.

    Now, about you. I don't like to play the therapist, but maybe it could help to find exactly what the loss of your cat means to you?

    Being a widow, that probably put me on the top list of the people who knows about good cry. It's been six years ago, but I still take a look at old pics, or love letters, and have a good cry! Just need to.... That makes me feel better!

    :O)

    LOVE

    By Blogger Clo, at 17:23  

  • Zelda looks very sweet in her photo and just as sweet in the picture you made of her. You are always so funny and fun, somehow that makes it harder thinking of you so upset and crying like this, although you posted this Friday and this is Tuesday late, so i'm thinking your not still crying, I hope not, but if you are, she sounds like she is very worthy of the tears.

    By Blogger HARDWAX, at 20:15  

  • Oh! So sorry.

    Much love

    By Blogger Pomme, at 10:26  

  • Big hugs and lots of love. And another hug for being brave and sharing this. I chickened out this week because I can't face my latest sorry yet.

    I had a siamese cat too (she passed away 5 years ago and I still cry too)

    By Blogger Gabrielle, at 15:26  

  • daniela: Thanks.
    love

    liz jones: Thanks.
    Well, I never was in a stable enough enviroment to reclaim her. :-(
    love

    aynaku: :-)
    love

    valgalart; Thanks and indeed.
    love

    twisselman: :-)
    love

    merlinprincesse: Thanks. :-)
    love

    rhelynn: Thanks. :-)
    love

    sea angel: :-)
    love

    lou: :-)
    love

    creative kismet: Thanks Love.
    love

    carla: :-)
    love

    holly: :-)
    love

    jaimie: I used to have a job that made me cry all the time. :-)
    love

    clo: Yeah. :-)
    love

    hardwax: Thanks.
    I'm working through this as fast as I can so I don't start crying again. :-p
    love

    pomme: :-)
    love

    gabrielle: :-) Thanks.
    love

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 18:02  

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