Bad Art I Am Compelled To Share

Saturday, April 29, 2006


We have a winner! Actually, we have three winners. Andydoodler is the winner of the most recent "All Alike" contest. Tony is the winner of the old "All Alike" contest and Clo is a winner for keeping me honest. All three of them have won; a print of the "All Alike" picture signed by The Unknown and a hand written love note. Of course in my heart you're all winners for playing along.

I once thought I was a winner. When I was four years old I had to stay over night in the hospital after having my tonsils taken out. Alone and scared in the hospital room that night I started to cry. A nurse working the graveyard shift heard me crying and came in to comfort me.

"There, there." The nurse cooed. "If I take you to see Winnie the Pooh will you stop crying?"

I had recently seen a live production of Winnie the Pooh and got exited at the prospect of meeting Pooh himself. I knew he existed, I had seen him with my own eyes just a few weeks ago.
"Winnie the Pooh is here? Really?" I stuttered in amazement.

"Promise to stop crying and I'll take you to see him." The nurse replied.

"OK." I said with glee.

The nurse scooped me up and carried me off through long passages and several doorways. I was excited but the trip seemed to be taking forever. On and on the nurse walked. I was growing tired and finally I must have nodded off.

I awoke in the nurse's arms. She was shaking me gently and pointing to a small sticker of Winnie the Pooh on someone's desk lamp. "There's Winnie the Pooh. Now, go back to sleep." Whispered the nurse.

I wanted to argue but sleep got the better of me and I drifted off again.

I awoke the next day. My mother was sitting by the bed and they gave me ice cream.

You don't always get what you expect but if you're lucky you'll get ice cream.

Do you love being a winner? Do you want to love me?


  • goodness, that was great! being a winner rocks. you all rock. and i send you all my love. love

    By Blogger transience, at 02:39  

  • Great story!

    Seeing the pooh is not always a treat. (on your shoe) haha!

    But not seeing the ice cream is always a GYP!!!!

    Love ya, Mean it!!

    By Blogger scarecrow, at 05:21  

  • Love your story!
    (And I'm very happy that my lil' sis has won!) HeeHee :)

    By Blogger merlinprincesse, at 08:04  

  • I LOVE being a winner!!!!!!!!

    You don't realize how much I'm happy to know that I will receive something from you! WOW! A signed print! WOW! A hand written love note!!!!!!!!!! OMG! I'm going to faint....

    Of course, I didn't win because I was funny, but there is a great conclusion to take from that story... You're always rewarded for the good actions you make...
    BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! Is that what you call a sucker? BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


    By Blogger Clo, at 09:00  

  • transience: heh, heh. Thanks.

    scarecrow: Ha! :-)

    merlinprincesse: :-)

    clo: Hooray! :-P

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 10:45  

  • I wanna be a winner! I wanna be rich! And famous! :D

    By Blogger marina, at 17:42  

  • mmm, butter pecan ice cream?
    I never win....except once; I did win a $300 gift card in the lingerie department of a store at our local mall.I was hoping to win the bigger prize, a car. :( love

    By Blogger Janet, at 21:59  

  • Wow- I'm finally a winner! It was an honor just to be in the company of such immensely talented captioners who I've looked up to- bowed down to- respected, and admired since I was old enough to read captions.
    So anyway- I'd like to thank God, the little people (all 7), the academy, The Unknown, my parents, my caption coach Joey DaCement Cobbler Lacheesenzo (incidentally- Joey says "thanks Unknown- youse 'ull now be spared sayin' hellos tah dah fishes- capiche?" whatever that all means?) I almost forgot- I'd like to thank my wife Jessica Simpson who's put up with me all--- $%&*! did I just say her name? Ahh- it was supposed to forever be a secret- but now that it's slipped out- yes- I was the cause of the Jessica-Nick split. #$%%!- they're playing that damn music- come on!- I need more time to thank everyone---
    You @#$% of @#$%^es- how dare you cut to commercial!...
    "Hi I'm Joey Lacheesenzo- I've been in business for ovah turrty years....."

    By Blogger AndyDoodler, at 07:03  

  • I am honored to be among the winners.

    By Blogger Tony Sarrecchia, at 08:07  

  • marina: Inside we are all winners. (Yeah right, where's my damn trophy!) :-)

    janet: $300.00 on lingerie! Va-Voom. :-)

    andydoodler: LOL! Funny.

    tony: :-)

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 10:24  

  • That story brought tears to my eyes.

    Much love <3 <3 <3 (<----hearts)

    By Blogger Chrissie A, at 09:01  

  • chrissie a: Because it was so bad? :-)

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 18:26  

  • why I can't believe you ask! of course I wanna love you! This story got me a little worried when you told me the nurse was going down corridors and hallways with you, I got worried that this story was going to end badly! But then I remembered that you are alive and telling this moving story!!! whew that was a close call love! LOVE

    By Blogger ValGalArt, at 00:03  

  • Great story! Sniff. ; )

    Big smoochy smooch,
    The Tart

    BTW.. lotsa luv Love!

    By Blogger The Tart, at 07:28  

  • Ya when all else failed as a kid I went to icecream... now its a big ole dirty vodka martini!

    gotta get love where you can I think!


    Ohhh that sounds harsh... I didnt mean it in a bad way... really... lol

    By Blogger kate, at 07:35  

  • oh....I'm a Loser!!!! thats ok...always were...always will be! *LOL* anyway....really cute story, although I like eeyore better...hahaha.

    I've never won any money...although i found 20 bucks on the beach the other day! XD

    So here's some more luv for you!

    By Blogger (¯'·._.·[ (DÅNÏˣϯ|¯Ä) ]·._.·´¯), at 06:31  

  • valgalart: Heh, heh.
    I am alive but I have no face. :-)

    jocelyn: Thanks Love. :-)

    kate: Ha! I think you had one too many dirty vodka martinis. (One of my favs. The dirtier the better.) :-)

    daniela: You look like a winner to me Love. :-)

    By Blogger The Unknown, at 13:43  

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