Bad Art I Am Compelled To Share

Monday, October 30, 2006


This is my picture for Illustration Friday the theme is wind. "Wind" was drawn on a piece of multi-purpose copy paper with my Faber-Castle 3-H pencil, then inked over with my Gel-Roller, then cleaned up and colored in Photoshop.

This illustration took me quite a bit longer than I anticipated. I worked on it for about five hours on Friday and thought I could finish it by cutting and pasting, but I didn't like the way it looked. I decided it would be easier to just draw the whole damn thing. I spent a few hours drawing on Saturday, then two more hours drawing and inking on Sunday night, then it took two more hours today to clean it up and color it. I would have worked straight through Saturday to finish it, but I had a busy weekend. Almost all of this illustration was drawn while listening to Bob Geldof's "sex, age & death".

Anyhow, I hope you enjoy it!

Are you full of wind? Are you going to leave me some love?

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Trees in Blue

Here's a quick little painting I did just to get a feel for my new acrylic paints and brushes. I like trees. Two weeks after I first became a vegan, I suddenly felt I had this special connection with the trees and I got into the habit of hugging all the trees on my way to work. The "special connection" was probably just my body reacting funny while all the toxins, I had been eating, worked there way out of my system, but who knows.

Do you want to hug a tree? Do you want to leave me some love?

Friday, October 20, 2006


This is my picture for Illustration Friday the theme is ghost. "Ghost" was painted with my new acrylics on a piece of canvas paper. This is probably the worst drawing I have ever made for IF and not at all what I had in mind when I started my picture, but after spending all afternoon trying to draw a cowboy hat and never getting it right, I decided to make a quick painting with my new art supplies. I hope the story makes up for the bad painting.

They say one out of every four people has seen a ghost. I've seen a few ghosts in my life. The first time I saw a ghost was in the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland. Of course, I now know the ghost I saw there wasn't real, but it scared me enough that I remember it happening and I was only 3 ½. The fright I experienced was especially satisfying for my Grand Father, who we called Grampa George.

The reason Grampa George was so elated by my fear was because in the early sixties he was part of the excavating crew that dug the hole where they built the Haunted Mansion. When the ride finally opened Grampa George paid for my brother, my mother and me to take a train from Eugene to Anaheim so we could experience the Haunted Mansion.

The only two things I remember about that trip are being scared by a ghost, while Grampa George laughed and mom buying me a candy bar on the train from a super friendly gentleman, who in my memory looks like Scatman Crothers.

Sadly, I don't remember too much about my Grand Father. I remember he loved the desert, he loved his cowboy hat, (The thing I spent the afternoon trying to draw.) and every time we came to visit he would make us pancakes.

Grampa George was also with me the second time I saw a ghost. Well, actually he was the ghost. I couldn't have been more than nine and I woke up early one morning, before the sun had even come up and Grampa George was standing next to my bed wearing his hat. I wondered what he was doing there since my mom had just been to his funeral a week earlier. I was about to ask, but before the question could come out he shushed me and told me I needed to get up and make some pancakes.

I went to the kitchen and started getting flour, milk and eggs together, to put in a bowl. I had no idea how to make pancakes, but I knew these were some of the key ingredients. The noise I was making woke up my mom. She came into the kitchen fuming.

"What are you doing up this early and why are you making such a big mess?" she asked, barley controlling the angry warble in her voice.

"I was trying to make pancakes," I said.

"But you don't even know how to make pancakes," she seethed.

"I know, but Grampa George thought it was a good idea."

"Grampa George told you?"

"Yeah, he woke me up and said I should make some pancakes."

My mom’s eyes welled up with tears and you could see the rage drain from her body. She grabbed me, squeezed me and then started sobbing. After about ten minutes she stopped shaking, wiped her eyes and said, "I think it's about time you learned how your granddad made pancakes."

Then my mother and I made the most delicious pancakes I have ever had.

This is a true story.

Have you ever seen a ghost? Have you left any love?

Friday, October 13, 2006


This is my picture for Illustration Friday the theme is smitten. I drew this picture 11 months ago on a piece of multi-purpose copy paper using a number two pencil, then inking over it with my Gel-roller. The illustration is really titled "Broke Bush Mountain", but it fit the smitten theme so well I decided to use it.

This drawing was the first time I used a pencil, then ink. The pictures on the blog before this had all been quick sketches. I was just doing it for a laugh, not because I wanted to make art.

Then one morning I woke up with the idea for this picture in my head. The image in my mind was strong and I wanted to make sure I got it from my brain to the page in one piece, so I used a pencil. I was thrilled with the way the picture turned out and it gave me the sudden desire to create a decent illustration.

I'm not sure what happened next, I started doing a little art research and soon realized you don't need any skills to be an artist! If you're a charlatan you can get away with anything! I felt I had finally found my calling!

It all became clear after that. I was smitten with the evil plan that had hatched in my brain. There's a sucker born every minute. I could parlay my bad art into millions.

I went on my merry way making ridiculous pictures not caring about their quality at all, but every once and a while, by mere chance, a decent picture would slip out. Every decent picture gave me a little rush. I liked the rush. I started to care about the quality of the pictures.

Then something else happened. I became smitten with the whole process of making a picture. I found myself falling in love with the craft. I suddenly started to care about the art.


So much for my evil plans, the millions will have to wait. This damn picture changed everything for me.

Are you a big charlatan? Are you going to leave me some love?

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Banana Pancakes

For my birthday Gorky gave me some acrylic paints, a plethora of brushes and this super cool canvas paper. This is my first attempt at painting with these materials. I haven'’t quite figured out how to mix colors and I didn'’t center the plate very well. That'’s what bothers me about the painting. Gorky says I'’m too hard on myself. Maybe I just need some banana pancakes.

Here's the photo I tried to paint.

As far as I'’m concerned banana pancakes are good for what ails you. If you come to my house feeling under the weather, I will make you some banana pancakes.

Recently dumped by your boyfriend? Come over and I will make you some banana pancakes.

Did your team lose the big game? Stop by, I will heat up the griddle and make you some banana pancakes.

Did you just sever a major artery in a freak weed whacker accident? Knock on my door, I'’ll take you to the hospital and when you get out come by again, I'‘ll make you the most delicious banana pancakes and you'’ll feel better.

If you want to try making your own vegan banana pancakes here'’s the recipe. I promise they will taste better than they look in the painting.

1 ¼ cup flour
2 Tbsp sugar
2 tsp baking powder
½ tsp salt

Sift the flour and mix all the dry ingredients together. Mix them well. Then add;

2 Tbsp oil
1 ¼ cup soymilk or water if you'’re out of soymilk.

Mix the liquids in with a fork. Do Not; I repeat Do Not mix the batter with a spoon! You want the batter to be lumpy. Finally, add and mix in one thinly sliced ripe banana.

Cook the pancakes in a frying pan on medium heat with just a dash of oil, about 2 minutes on each side. Always drop a small amount of batter into the pan as a “tester pancake” to make sure the pan is hot enough.

Another trick to getting the perfect pancake is, let the damn thing cook! You can tell the pancake is ready to be flipped when the edges start to cook. Many a pancake has been ruined by constantly peeking under the pancake to see if it'’s ready for flipping.

This recipe will make about six, three inch pancakes. Stack them up, add a little cube of soy margarine and cover with syrup! And please, only use real maple syrup. Enjoy!

By the way, I'll try and catch up with the comments soon. Sorry for the absence.

Do you love to cook? Do you love me?

Friday, October 06, 2006

Beat but Good

I'm tired, I'm hungry and I'm constipated, but I feel good. The last couple of weeks have been emotionally draining for me. Hence my lack of appearing anywhere on the blog-o-sphere and my late entry for last week's Illustration Friday. The emotional drain is letting up as things get worked out. I am also benefiting greatly from the things being worked out. Which, hopefully I can talk about soon. (I know, what a tease, but how else am I gonna keep you reading my blog. Bwhahahahahaha…)

Anyhow, now I'm physically busy, I just arrived home from an overnight trip to Bend for a performance. Now I need to shower and shave, then take a drive out to Forest Grove for another show, Then I perform right here in Stumptown on Saturday, my birthday, then Sunday is a tech rehearsal and football. All of which means another late appearance for this week's Illustration Friday.

Sorry Loves.

I hope this goofy little sketch and poor excuse will hold you over until I can get back in the flow. "Beat but good" was drawn on a blue post-it note with my Gel-Roller, and then colored in Photoshop, all while I was making banana pancakes for Gorky and me. How's that for talent?

Do you have a recipe for banana pancakes? Do you want to leave me some love?

Sunday, October 01, 2006


I'm not sure why it was so difficult for me to come up with an illustration this week. I guess I have a lot on my mind and I just needed a moment of quiet before ideas started coming to me.

Anyhow, here is my picture for Illustration Friday the theme is quiet. "Quiet" was drawn on a scrap of multi-purpose copy paper with my Gel-roller and colored in Photoshop.

Don't forget you can win a copy of the short film I was in by clicking here. I started the contest last week and so far only two people have entered. The odds of winning something are pretty good.

When was the last time you had a moment of quiet? Did you leave me some love?