Bad Art I Am Compelled To Share

Friday, January 27, 2006


This is my picture for Illustration Friday. The theme is glamour. "Glamour" was drawn on the back of the June 28 page from a Get Fuzzy desk calendar then cleaned up and colored with Photoshop.

Ah glamour. Being a child of the seventies, when I hear the word glamour the first thing I think of is Glamour Rock. So, that is what I drew. A glamour rock.
David Bowie, T. Rex, Iggy Pop, Traffic (Boner!), The New York Dolls and Roxy Music were some of my favorites. I was so influenced by them that one day after school I came home and put on a bunch of my mother's makeup. Needless to say my parents were not impressed. For the next two years I was forced to play sports and received weekly lectures about the dangers of homosexuality. I find it odd that when my parents feared I might be gay they thought the best thing to do was enroll me in several activities that always ended with men showering together.

Do you love Glamour Rock? Will you love me?

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Five Habits

This is a picture of my five weird habits. I was infected by Hellcat. Which isn't all that surprising because Hellcat is full of germs. For this illustration I took an old picture then drew five new pictures and pasted them to the old one. I scanned the whole thing then cleaned it up and colored it with Photoshop.

Five Strange Habits From The Unknown

  1. I asked my girlfriend if I had any weird habits and she immediately replied "Blogging." So, I guess that's number one.

  2. I like to smell books. Too bad I buy mostly used books. Who knows where that book has been?! Oh well, It's better than sniffing bicycle seats.

  3. When I tie my shoes I can't have any of the laces twisted. It usually takes five minutes or so to tie my shoes because I have to make sure the laces are straight. God/dess forbid I should have to get somewhere in a hurry. I guess I would go barefoot.

  4. I try to drink a gallon of water a day. I find it odd that more people don't do this. Like they say on TNG we're ugly bags of mostly water.

  5. I like to cook. That's not the weird thing. The weird thing is I like to clean while I'm cooking. In fact the kitchen is usually cleaner after I'm done cooking than it was before I started. I'm surprised more folks don't ask me to come to their house and cook a meal.
Well, there you have it. I hope this will entertain you all a little bit. I'm not going to infect anyone else because my karma can't take it. How's your karma? Do you need to do some karma yoga? Do you love me?

Tuesday, January 24, 2006


This is a picture of my Heart-O-Stat. It was drawn on a scrap of paper from my recycle bin then cleaned up and colored in Photoshop. I finished this entire picture in about ten minutes.

I had big plans for Sunday and Monday. I was going to spend those days working on the old pc catching up on this blog and writing a few different things. Unfortunately I had a little hitch in my giddy up. The house was too cold to work in. We forgot to buy oil for the furnace that heats our home. We realized we needed oil when we ran out on Sunday afternoon.

How cold was it you ask? Well, I know a lot of people use a thermostat to measure the temperature in their house but I prefer to use the Heart-O-stat. For example if it's Oprah in the house you'll be walking around in shorts. (Because Oprah has such a warm heart.) Simon Cowell is right around freezing. Our house was just a little warmer than Dick Cheney's cold, cold heart.

Finally today someone came and filled the oil tank. It still took until late afternoon to get the house 15 degrees below Oprah and now that it's warm enough to sit at the computer again I will spend the rest of my afternoon playing catch up. (Sigh) I love the little foibles that keep life interesting.

Do you love little foibles? Will you love me?

Saturday, January 21, 2006


This is Anonymous. Anonymous was drawn on the back the July 3, 2001 page from a Get Fuzzy desk calendar then colored with Photoshop.

Anonymous has now left over 100 drops of love for little old me. (blush) I think someone has a crush on me!

Anonymous and Unknown
Sitting in a tree
K - I - S - S - I - N - G!

Seriously though, Anonymous has been here since the first week. a big part of the reason I'm still doing this. Yes, thank you Anonymous. What started as a whim has now turned into the obsession that controls my life. A lot like your obsession with me. (*KISS*) Well? Don't just sit there reading this. Go over to the Sandbox and leave a little *KISS* for Anonymous.

OH! And don't forget to leave some love for me!

Friday, January 20, 2006


This is my picture for Illustration Friday. The theme is Cats. "Cats" was drawn on the back of a page from an old Get Fuzzy desk calendar. I drew the initial picture in about twenty minutes. Then I spent the next six hours using Photoshop to color it and fill in the empty spaces with more cats. I didn't mean to spend so much time on this today. I was a little over ambitious. I'm also not as happy with the results as I would like to be. Oh well. You want cats you get cats! Enjoy!

Don't forget if you want to win a print from The Unknown leave a witty comment on the post All Alike.
Or if you want to be immortalized in a few of The Unknown's upcoming drawings and help free Fritz leave a comment on the post Fritz Solo (Almost).

Everyone loves cats. Will you love me?

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

All Alike

The Unknown has a little case of the Blahs today so, he whipped this picture out in about 15 minutes. I drew the three pictures on some scrap paper then cut them out and pasted them to some old construction paper, scanned the whole mess and then colored and cleaned it with Photoshop.
These three items have at least three things in common. Please tell me what they are. I'm even willing to give a prize to the lover with the best comment. Yes, that's right, a PRIZE! I will give the lover with the best comment a print of this picture, (From my printer so don't expect too much!) autographed by The Unknown and a hand written love note! (As long as you're willing to give me a mailing address if you win.) So comment away my lovers and be creative! Tell me at least three things these items have in common besides the fact that they all suck.
Make me laugh it will help me through the blahs.

Leave some love! Win a prize!

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Infected Again

Catnapping infected me. I'm supposed to post 5 random facts about myself. Catnapping is a Red Hot Lover so I will do it. Even though I just did this a few posts ago. I'm sure you all just can't get enough of wonderful me. Blah!
BTW this illustration is a retouch of one of the first pictures I ever posted on this blog.

  1. My first television memory is watching the first moon landing with my dad.
  2. When I was four my patents took me to a popular kids cartoon show and the host made me cry because he yelled at my brother during a commercial break. They got me to stop crying by giving me some Twinkies.
  3. I hate eggplant, unless it's baba ganoush. I love baba ganoush. (Hmm... Is that one fact or two? Bonus fact.)
  4. The first apartment I ever rented was in the basement of a funeral home. I had to walk through the coffin showroom to get to my apartment. Then there were three doors. My apartment, my bathroom and then the embalming room. Creepy. I loved it.
  5. My friend Eric once told me that the first porno movie he ever saw used the Traffic song "The Low Spark of High Heeled Boys" and now whenever he hears that song he gets an erection. Now whenever I hear that song I think about Eric getting an erection. Now whenever you hear that song you will think of my friend Eric's erection. Thank goodness they don't play that song much on the radio anymore.
Well, there you have it. I'm not going to infect anyone because I started this by infecting musetigerbrooke to welcome her to the blog world and it came back to haunt me.
Please leave me some love.

Friday, January 13, 2006

E is for ...

This is my picture for Illustration Friday. The theme is E is for... I drew this on a piece of multi-purpose copy paper then colored it with Photoshop. E is for the sound that Eric makes when electricity shot easily through his body while he entertained the elders playing an elf in the Eastside Educators Annual Easter Event exciting everyone except Emily who planned the entire escapade because Eric embarrassed her in Mr. Emerson's Economics Class.
Please l-E-ave some love for me.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

The Empire Never Ended

This picture is called "The Empire Never Ended". It was drawn on a scrap of multi-purpose copy paper then cleaned up and colored with Photoshop. I have been reading the book "VALIS" by Philip K. Dick. The book is considered science fiction but really the story is about one mans quest to grasp the nature of reality. Anyhow one of the phrases that are repeated to the main character over and over is, "The Empire Never Ended". It's all very Big Brother like and since I'm a little paranoid anyway I find it fascinating. (Put this thought aside for a moment.)

Yesterday I went to eat lunch at this funky little cafe called Dots. I like the place because it's fun to watch all the hip, neo-gothic, thirty something people that hang out there, there's a good vegetarian menu and lots of cool kitsch all over the place. I'm very tactile. I love to pick things up so I can feel them as well as look at them. So a place with lots of odd little goodies to play with is heaven for me.

I sit down and on a shelf next to me is this weird looking diary. I pick it up and open it somewhere near the center to see what, if anything, has been written there. What was there was a pyramid much like the one above and underneath the pyramid was written... "The Empire Never Ended"!

Suddenly, all them hip, neo-gothic, thirty something people seemed to be staring at me. Suddenly I lost my appetite. Suddenly I feel like I'm living in a Philip K. Dick novel. Aren't these the kinds of events that make people on the edge slip into insanity I find myself thinking? This of course makes things seem even more like a Philip K. Dick novel. Someone get me out of here! I don't want to be written this way! I want to write my own story!

Are you paranoid? Too paranoid to leave some love?

Saturday, January 07, 2006


This is my picture for Illustration Friday. The theme is Sea. "Sea" was drawn on a scrap of multi-purpose copy paper then colored and cleaned up in Photoshop. I have always been a vivid dreamer. The Sea is one of the prominent elements in about 80% of the dreams I remember. Somebody once told me the sea in your dreams represents knowledge.

About ten years ago I spent a month at this funky little hotel in Seoul. At the time I was doing a lot of soul searching and I had a string of wacky dreams while staying there. One dream started with Satan and me standing on a cliff overlooking the sea. Satan asked if the sea scared me. I told him it was only knowledge and there was nothing to be afraid of. So he snapped his fingers and I was suddenly out in the middle of the ocean in a tiny boat.

Satan hovered over me and laughing he said, "Are you scared now"?

"No!" I said mocking him.

Satan snapped his fingers again and the boat disappeared. "Have fun!" He laughed and vanished.

I sank to the sea floor and started walking. Eventually I reached the shore. As I walked up onto the beach the Red Hot Chili Peppers were standing there. Flea looked at me and said, "Hurry up we need a drummer."

Then they took off running down this path into the woods. I ran after them. When I got deep into the woods I dropped this crystal I had been carrying. I turned around to pick it up and when I stood up again everyone was gone. I started to panic because both ends of the trail looked the same and I couldn't remember which way I was headed. There was a giggle behind me. I whirled around and a smiley Tibetan Monk is staring at me. "What's wrong?" He asks.

"I'm lost." I reply.

"Silly boy." The monk says to me. "You're not lost you're on the path." Then he laughed and was gone.

Then I started to laugh. I was still laughing when I woke up.

I suppose there is a lot of symbolism in that dream or maybe I just had too much Kimchi before going to bed.

Thursday, January 05, 2006


This picture is a test. It was drawn on the pack of an e-mail list I printed out then realized I didn't need because I found the first copy I had printed out an hour before. I colored it and cleaned it up with Photoshop. In my last Illustration Friday picture. I used the term "Fanboy" in my post. Apparently the word confused a lot of the wonderful and highly intelligent people that stop by here. Because there is already enough confusion in the world I decided to help straighten things out. So, I created this test! One of these Fanboys is a real thing the other is not. Can you tell which is which? I suppose I could just tell you but real knowledge needs to be earned not just given away all willy nilly like Halloween candy! Anyhow, if you're still confused click HERE!
Are you a Fanboy? I'm about 30% Fanboy. Would you love a Fanboy? Will you love me?

P.S. Don't forget if you want to help Fritz and end up in one of The Unknown's pictures leave some love on this POST!

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Fritz Solo: Almost (Fritz Follies 2)

(If you're new to the Follies, clicking on the title of the post will take you to the previous installment.) love

This is a picture of Fritz. He was drawn on a scrap of multi-purpose copy paper and then colored in Photoshop. Fritz may not look it but he is in trouble! His alien master (Also named Fritz!) has been taken by the "Man"! Fritz is going to need some help busting his master out of the pokey! Would you like to help? I will leave the comments on this post open until January 31, 2006. Then I will redraw and post this picture again adding all the people that commented wanting to help Fritz. (I already put Fifi in the picture because She is hibernating and I didn't want her to miss all the action!) After I repost the new picture I will draw a series of pictures showing how everyone helps Fritz (The alien master.) escape from the evil clutches of the "Man"!
Sound like fun? We'll see... Please help Fritz and leave some love for me?