Tagged

I was tagged by anonymous a while ago and asked to post twenty random facts about myself. So I did in the comments of my Comic Strip post. Then I got tagged by Ken and then D Rock and then By Teri C. In order to stop getting tagged with the twenty random question I'm re-posting my original answers. I hope they live up to all your expectations. Because I'm re-posting something I used a picture from an old posting. I just colored it in and put a different background. I'm trying to learn to layer things. Anyone remember which drawing it's from? Well, here's the re-posting of twenty random facts.

So. I was tagged by

anonymous. How exciting! I've never been tagged! Oh Joy! I guess I'm supposed to post 20 random facts about my self and then tag as many people as it took minutes to write the 20 things. I guess? OK, I'm game.

1. I barely know how to work the PC I am on.
2. Big dogs make me nervous.
3. I like taunting my enemies. Much to my own detriment.
4. I like taunting my friends more than my enemies.
5. Every other Sunday I play poker (Face to face, not online.) with famous people.
6. My mother is proud of me. I'm not sure why.
7. My father was a quiet man.
8. I am quietly proud.
9. I'm vegan because I like animals.
10. I still believe love will save the planet.
11. Sometimes I pretend to be asleep.
12. Shhhhhh. I'm a sleeping!
13. Cats love me.
14. I smell like tuna often.
15. I'm a neat freak but I love chaos.
16. I think Shemp was the funniest stooge.
17. I am by no means a macho guy but I like John Wayne movies.
18. I can read minds!
19. I knew you where thinking that!
20. My fingers hurt from typing.

Egads! That took seven minutes! Bah!
love

To Update: I tagged... mimi in ny, ::friction::, fotosia, worlds least famous celebrity, can you hear me now, don't eat the tomatoes and margaritaville. At last check only worlds least famous celebrity had posted the twenty random facts.

Will you love me now?

P.S. Happy Birthday to Anonymous.
P.P.S. Happy Halloween.

Broken

This is my picture for Illustration Friday. The theme is broken. This was an odd one for me. I'm not really a political kind of guy but this was the first thought that came to my mind and I ran with it. Politics tend to make people angry and they get in the way of getting any real work done. If you want to change the world change yourself. That's my motto. Anyhow, I drew the USA and GB, colored them in photoshop and then printed them. I then tore up the USA and cut out GB. Then rescanned the whole thing with a construction paper background. Not liking the way the colors faded, I re-photoshopped most of the thing. The texture didn't turn out as well as I would have liked but I'm very happy with the way GB's hair looks. This is also the first time I have drawn a character that is suppose to be recognizable. I think GB turned out OK. It's much better detail if you click to enlarge the picture. Please tell me what you think. One more thing... Will you leave some love for me?

Cat Hat

This is a picture of me and my cat Pepe. It was sketched on a piece of multi-purpose copy paper and then really cleaned up and colored in photoshop. Pepe is very strange. He loves wet hair. It makes him feel sexy. When I get out of the shower Pepe goes crazy. After a good shampooing, if I let him, Pepe would sit atop my head nibbling on the back of my neck as I walked around. With Pepe's tail up and butt showing, from a distance, it would look like I was wearing a plumed turban with a strange brown gem. Anyhow, I warned you the picture was cute. I bet my girlfriend two dollars that this post would get more responses that any picture so far. Please help me win two dollars. I have two days! Pepe loves me and wet hair. Will you love me?

Lose Face

This is a picture of me having my face blown off by a strong wind. It was drawn on a scrap of multi-purpose copy paper and then cleaned up and colored with photoshop tools. I was told there was a strong wind warning but I paid no heed. That is until my face was blown off. I should have listened. Oh well, just in time for Halloween. Please leave some love for me as I lose face.
P.S. You may think this picture is particularly bad. I may agree but I posted it because it makes me laugh and because the next post is so cute that we will all be crying and vomiting and wanting to call our mothers. You have been warned!
P.P.S. If you've come this far why not leave some love for me?

Sunglasses

This is a picture of me in my cool new sunglasses. It was drawn on a scrap of multi-purpose copy paper and just for fun I colored it in with colored pencils. I look pretty good in my new sunglasses. They make me feel good. They only cost me four dollars. That also makes me very happy. I really think they change my whole look. Now i can be the person I've always wanted to be. All because of a four dollar pair of sunglasses. I love my new shades. Will you love me?

Darkness

This is a picture of me in the dark. It was drawn on a scrap of multi-purpose copy paper and colored in photoshop. When I was young I was afraid of the dark. Now, I am not. Now I know there is nothing in the dark that can hurt me. There are no such things as monsters. I am secure. Safe in the knowledge that I am always right. If I could AAAHHH... SOMETHING BIT MY LEG! OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? AAAHHH!!! THIS COULD BE THE END! THIS MIGHT BE MY LAST POST! WILL YOU LEAVE SOME LOVE FOR ME?! AAAHHH!!!

Remote

This is my picture for Illustration Friday. Remote was drawn on a scrap of multi-purpose copy paper. I think it is self explanatory. I have a very busy weekend so I drew this in about five minutes. I actually finished this drawing at 10AM but my PC wanted to fight and I didn't get a chance to post it until now. This made me very anger but I had a good show tonight so I feel better. I hope you enjoy it. Please leave some love for me.

Luck

Today I decided my luck needed some changing. Joyously I headed to the backyard. I was going to pick myself a four-leaf clover. After searching for about twenty minutes I said, "Fuck this! Why is good luck so hard to come by? Who the hell decided four-leaf clovers are good luck? From this day forward I decree that three-leaf clovers are now good luck." As I bent down to pick my three-leaf clover a rock flew from the neighbors lawn mower, cleared a gap in the fence and clocked me in the eye. What are the odds? I'd say you can't get any luckier than that. My lucky three-leaf clover was put on a piece of paper torn from my girlfriends "Get Fuzzy" notebook. Sorry about the blood. If you pick a three-leaf clover you will get lucky. Will you love me?
P.S. Does anyone know how to get blood off a scanner?

Little Imp

This is a little imp I drew while waiting for the bus downtown. This imp was drawn on a page from my big fat note book and colored with photoshop tools. Sure he may look cute and cuddly but I assure you he would just as soon chew your face off as look at you. Even if you don't love having your face chewed off, will you leave some love for me?

Too Late

This is a picture of my eyes right now. My eyes were drawn on a piece of multi-purpose copy paper. I stayed up too late playing poker and watching bad sci fi on TV. Now my eyes are paying the price. I should go to bed but I need to know will Joseph arrive in time to rescue the girl? Will the planet be saved from the evil Goergenia or will evil win the day and turn everyone into zombies that sit around late at night hypnotized by a little talking box? Even if you don't love late night sci fi or my creepy bloodshot eyes will you please leave some love for me? Come on, I said please.

Cold

This is for Illustration Friday. It is a picture of Scott's (My brother.) dog Angus. Angus was drawn on a scrap of multi-purpose copy paper and colored with photoshop tools. Angus has the coldest nose of any dog I have ever known. He likes to sneak up behind you while your watching TV and put his cold nose on your neck. It always makes me jump. I do not love the dog's cold nose but I do love Angus. Will you love me?

Comic Strip

Last week someone asked if I every did a comic strip. That sounded exciting. So, here it is. My comic strip was drawn on a piece of multi-purpose copy paper. Then copied. Then covered with photo shop tools. Play some sexy music and scroll down slowly please.

And yes, in the original I'm naked. If this at least made you giggle please leave some love for me. You've gotten this far. Will you leave some love?

Lost

This is my picture for Illustration Friday. The back ground is pastel crayons on some old construction paper I found in the basement. The photo is me riding a crazy horse at Wall Drug. If you've every been to Wall Drug South Dakota you know what it feels like to be lost. As long as your reading this why don't you leave some love for me.

Scott

This is a picture of my brother Scott. It was drawn on the back of my girlfriend's shopping list. Scott is the guy who used to chase me around with a screwdriver. (see myth) Scott now works for the sheriffs department. Scott has never had to use his gun. Althought once he did use a whole can of pepper spray on a very angry chicken. When he was done that was one spicy chicken. That is a true story. Will you leave some love for me?

Loan Shark

This is a picture of a loan shark. It was drawn on the back of an envelope I found in my recycle bin. I don't think this drawing needs much of an explanation. However, the joke is so cheesy, I apologize to anyone who is lactose intolerant. Even if you don't love this joke please leave some love for me.

Myth

This is a picture of my head popping off because I unscrewed my bellybutton. It was drawn on a scrap of multi-purpose copy paper. My older brother used to chase me around the house with a screwdriver. He told me if he caught me he would make my head pop off by unscrewing my bellybutton. It didn't help matters that my Dad told me that was only true if you used a Phillips head screwdriver. Of course when I got older I realized that was only a myth. If you unscrew your bellybutton your head doesn't pop off. It's your butt that falls off. Please leave some love for me.

Poem (Bad Art Bonus)

In an effort to put different forms of art on my bad art blog I wrote a poem. Sort of. I took the last paragraph from a play, written and used with kind permission by my good friend, The Most Horrible, I then cut the paragraph into different words and phrases. (about 50 pieces in all) I then put all those pieces in a hat and drew out pieces until I had a poem. I promise this was put together randomly. Please let me know what you think and please leave some love for me.

Cake

Today is my birthday so I drew myself a cake. My birthday cake was drawn on a scrap of graph paper that I used to find out how much money I don't have in the bank. Please leave some love for me.

Bigfoot

This is a picture of bigfoot. It was drawn on a scrap of note paper while I was on hold with the phone company. When I was five I was really afraid of bigfoot. I used to have a recurring nightmare that bigfoot was chasing me because he wanted to pull my head off. That would hurt. Bigfoot never caught me in the dream and I've never met bigfoot in real life, but I did meet Annette Funicello once. She was a bad tipper. Anyway, even if your scared of bigfoot like me and don't love him. Will you leave some love for me?
P.S. My beard is getting full.

List

This is a picture of my list. It's the list of ideas for pictures on this blog. I don't know if you can call it art. If it's not art, at least it's a look into the mind of this artist. I was sitting around wondering what I should draw next. I sat staring at my list and staring at my list and it suddenly became art. Maybe if you stare at it long enough it will become art for you. Then you will love it. Will you then leave love for me?
P.S. My beard is getting itchy

Black Widow

This is a picture of a black widow biting my head. It was drawn on a scrap of multi-purpose copy paper. Once a black widow built a web over my phone. It didn't actually bite me but I had a dream that it did. That was scary. I'm glad that part was just a dream. Now whenever I use the phone I look up. That black widow would love to have captured me, bound me in web-fluid and then slowly sucked the life force out of my supple, multi-purpose copy paper, white skin. Will you please leave love for me?
P.S. My beard is getting bigger.

Mother

This is a picture of my Mother. It was drawn on a very small scrap of multi-purpose copy paper. My mother is hard working and cheery and not nearly as mannish looking in person as she is in this picture. When I was young my Mother told me that all women were witches. She also told me that all women could read men's minds. Sometimes I still believe her. My mother loves me. Please leave love for me.
P.S. My beard is growing.

Jedi Mind Power

This is a picture of me getting hit with a brick by someone using their Jedi Mind Power. It is drawn on a scrap of muli-purpose copy paper. I drew this picture because when I was strolling through the web I came across this blog called "Psionics Daily Practice Log". I thought that sounded cool. I could become like a Jedi. In the post I read the guy was talking about using his "tk" (telekinetics) ability. You know moving thing with your mind just like Yoda. I posted a comment asking if he was a Jedi. He acted like he didn't know what I was talking about. Now I am afraid if he sees me on the street he will hurt me with his Jedi Mind Power. At great risk to my own life; here is a link to his website... "Psionics Daily Practice Log" and a link, with my comment unless it has been erased, to the original post... "Dialed in to the TK". I would love to have Jedi Mind Powers. Will you love me?
P.S. I am going to grow a beard.